no bad content this week
only things we stan this week, including 30-50 feral hogs!!!
You thought I forgot about you didn’t ya? Well I’ll have you know I was away this weekend on the beach (*sleeping for 3 hours during the middle of the day inside under the covers). I was near the beach though.
Hi there, happy Sunday evening, or Monday morning (for my Australian folks – we are international now!)
This week/last weekend had a lot of #badcontent that we do not need to revisit, so we will forgo our Things We Do Not Stan section in this week’s newsletter, and instead replace it with some special ~curated content~. If you stick around till the end, I’ll share with you an album I’m currently listening to as the night winds down!
Things We Stan This Week
Folks – last week we had boars – this week, we have 30-50 feral hogs storming your yard.
@JasonIsbell Legit question for rural Americans - How do I kill the 30-50 feral hogs that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?If you don’t spend your time online 24/7 as I do, you may have seen some headlines regarding said feral hogs. I’ll spare you the explanation and backstory of how we got here – but WIRED does a pretty good job covering it here. And as always, BuzzFeed made a list here, and even GQ took a stab at it here.
Instead of giving you more context, I’ll show you a few highlights of some of my favorite tweets regarding the 30-50 feral hogs. (I apologize in advance to Mark and Rachel, who I have already shared 99% of these with).
This one may be my absolute favorite for many reasons, the styling of the tweet (beautiful line breaks), the musical parody (who doesn’t love a Leonard Cohen tribute), and how easily singable this little bar is.
A complete side note to this, however, appropriate given the hogs.Also – if anyone remembers seeing SHREK (where the John Cale / Rufus Wainwright version is featured), this seems oddly appropriate given the swamps and Donkey content in the film…Another great one! Wow HOGCHELLA anyone? I love a good parody Coachella poster than anything real that happens at Coachella. I didn’t count, but it would be great if “30-50 Feral Hogs” were on that list anywhere between 30-50 times… I would assume so!
I don’t need to explain anything about this one, but it’s a nice niche tweet that makes me chuckle. Anyway enough about hogs (for this week)!
Is Everything Okay With Jennifer Aniston?
Seriously though – with all that money – you would think she could be a well-oiled machine. Alas as the saying goes: STARS! THEY’RE JUST LIKE US. They have chronic dryness issues!
I know these are not potentially “new things” to consider in the world, but I like to revisit tweets every once and a while. Hell – even Vanity Fair claimed it in 2016 with this headline: “Jennifer Aniston Is the Face of Hydration.”
WARNING! I’m linking this knowing 99% of you don’t have a Vanity Fair online subscription, so enjoy wasting your one free article on that! Please don’t, though.I recently spent 10 hours watching endless content on YouTube and eventually wound up on the Bon Appétit channel. I may be living under a rock given the 4M+ subscribers they have, and multi-million views they have on each video, but considering there are 3.2 BILLION people on the internet, I think it’s safe to say not all of you are aware of this incredible content or have even heard of it!
I want to set the record straight and let everyone know that I do not cook. I cannot cook, and quite frankly – the idea of cooking right now is making me sweat. Cooking is not my Will Forte – and never will be. Despite my lack of desire, or ability to cook, I adore watching cooking shows, competitions, and now this channel.
The YouTube channel covers a bunch of very practical how-tos and recipes that are easy to follow (if it pleases your little Julia Childs heart). That’s not what I’m here for. I’m here for the dumb shit you and I will never make because we lack:
1. the time
2. the machinery
3. the skillset
4. the patience
5. the fact that we aren’t on the payroll for this type of whimsy.
And for that we have to thank:
My main bitch is Claire Saffitz – who is the Star of “Gourmet Makes” and Contributing Food Editor. Claire can do it all – but what makes me cackle like a maniac for 45 minutes is when she tries to (and successfully) recreate over-processed food like PopTarts, Peeps, Starbursts, and PopRocks and turn them into gourmet creations!Look at that wisp of gray hair – you can tell she intentionally leaves it that way – and I love that kind of apathy it conveys. There’s also a great Into The Gloss article about her here. (Fun Fact for my WUSTL Bears! She’s from STL. Go Bears!)
Anyway, Claire and I share many (two) things in common: like being sarcastic and being filled with mirth! I stan her so hard, and you should too. I would be her friend.Here’s a mirror I saw via an Instagram ad that I really liked.
Please do not look it up and tell me how much it costs, I know it will cost north of $1K, and honestly, I like to live in the dark sometimes, so please let me live my Richard Serra inspired fantasy just once.
Friends Who Do Cool Things
This is a new section that I’ll be doing every so often! You can only be as cool as the people you surround yourself with (both physically and digitally), so I’d like to take the time to share the spotlight on some people I know who are doing some cool things that you should check out (and help support by purchasing their stuff! We’re in the gig economy now, baby!!!)
Meet my friend Sarah. She’s a writer, content expert, Twitter troll, and also the spokesperson for the Millennial generation with her recent book:
“Guac Is Extra But So Am I. THE RELUCTANT ADULT’S HANDBOOK”
As someone who cannot scramble eggs – this book is incredibly helpful to me, and I have re-read it multiple times for laughs, and as a guidebook for when I’m in doubt about how to shake someone’s hand at work.
In short, this is a very practical, snarky guide that is essential to surviving your 20s and early 30s as an adult who is attempting to live in the world post-Y2K. Honestly I wish this book came out when I was in college so I would know things like the following passage below:
This book is also not just for post-Gen-X (and honestly I know a many people north of 40+ who would benefit from this literature) – however, if you know a teen entering college, a recent graduate, or have a sibling that won’t move out of your parent’s basement, buy them this book. You can also buy it shamelessly for yourself, like I did! It also is beautifully designed (Sarah drew all the illustrations in the book!), and looks great on your cocktail table or bar cart!
You can read the “official” short description of it here, from Penguin Random House. That link will also tell you the 2000+ you can buy it from (or you can just Google it).
We love you Sarah – and your book signing parties with free alcohol!
P.S. Remember that time I published a book with a quote from mother Gwyneth about said eating crack instead of cheese from a tin? Email me to purchase my book.
That’s it – you made it to the end – here is that incredibly soothing album I'm listening to right now (and have put on repeat).
xxo,
30-50 feral hogs