happy sunday – and what feels like the first bit of “fall”.
as per usual – stick to the end to see a sweet picture of a rabbit.
PS. all typos are part of my ~*aesthetic~*.
Things We Stan This Week
My love for Academy Award Winner, Gwyneth Paltrow – is not alone (nor was it ever really in doubt). Behold, a beautiful article written by the failing New York Times that celebrates the beauty of all things GP, called “I Love Gwyneth Paltrow. There. I Said It.”
The article is actually relatively well written, and goes into depth about the trials and tribulations (okay then) of liking/hating Ms. Paltrow and what she stands for:
So, no: I am some other kind of person, the kind who believes that Paltrow was, for a while, the best young American actor in Hollywood. She’s still among the very last generation of movie performers — including Cotillard and Cate Blanchett, Winslet and Nicole Kidman — for whom stardom and skill seem scarily, thrillingly natural.
Also – the article is a great photo archive of some of her best moments. Like when she won an Oscar against the likes of Meryl Streep, and Cate Blanchett.
Blake Lively could never (and would never, win an Oscar).
I am at extreme peace this evening ( & weekend) due to one very simple thing:
Ducks. Yes – ducks – those little birds we love to feed bread at lakes, (Editor’s Note: DO NOT FEED THEM BREAD!!!! More on that here) – are also our best friends, incredibly therapeutic, and dare I say, adorable?
As my good friend and fellow misanthrope Sarah Solomon put it:Yes, yes…Our collective blood pressure is lowered by this duck.
Go throw that duck a follow on the ‘gram. But did you know, there are so many other ducks out there on the gram?
If you’re experiencing the Sunday Scaries, or have the desire to lock yourself in a small closet – find yourself at ease with this relaxing video:Ducks – go check them out (a non-sponsored-but-could-be-sponsored, segment. Cornell Lab of Ornithology, slide into my emails please!)
The world’s sexiest vegan, and incredibly horny for Julian Assange (and conspiracy theories and whistle blowers????) Pamela Anderson gave us this tweet - which, in line with the ducks above, brought me to a level of sexy peace.
From a woman who was once married to both Tommy Lee Jones AND Kid Rock – I am so happy for Pamela finding peace in her life – and honestly aspire for this level of peace (and waterfront views).
As you can see – I am at actual peace for once in my life – until we enter the next segment, where my blood pressure will spike to an all-time high, and will promptly need to look at #duckcontent upon finishing this email.
Things We Do Not Stan This Week
Folks – someone got paid a lot of money to do this, and honestly I want that person to lose their job immediately:
No, I will not be linking any of these articles for this segment because the entire concept infuriates me to my core. Listen – I am all for weird brand partnerships and collaborations (I own a pair of very uncomfortable Rick Owen Birkenstocks, and an embarrassingly large amount of APC x Supreme denim from the late 00s). However – there are some things I have to draw the line on – and that – is all things Star Wars.
Listen, I have seen every Star Wars at least two times (even the ~new~ ones) – and they are completely fine films in the same way that Harry Potter franchise, or Lord of the Ring franchise, is a fine set of films. That is where they need to end though, films. Repeat after me: DO NOT BUY COOKWARE INSPIRED BY, AND LICENSED BY YOUR FAVORITE FILM FRANCHISE!!
I have a lot of questions. Question 1: I am assuming the diehard, must have all merchandised things Star Wars, is probably a nerd. Nerds are cool, but most of them live in their parent’s basement and probably don’t know their way around a kitchen (besides heating up chicken tenders in the microwave). The idea that someone in the Star Wars marketing department thought that “home chefs” and “Star Wars nerds" is a Venn Diagram that is just one combined circle, is clearly smoking something. Also – this shit is EXPEN$IVE!!!
NINE HUNDRED DOLLARS ($900)! What?! Excuse Me?!
This dutch oven (once again, the target audience for this product, does not actually exist) is so stupid. Not to mention you can get a non-Star Wars one from the same brand for 1/3rd the cost (which is still expensive but, not close to $1K).
Complete with Tatoonie's binary stars, Le Creuset promises, "Our Dutch oven promises an end result that's anything but dry -- unlike the sun-scorched lands of Tatooine."
Oh god. I am sick, I am reeling. I need to see a cute picture of a duck. The moral of the story is, all co-branded Star Wars things are bad. Here’s the announcement video to make you mad, too.
Ooohhh…
J Beibz and someone related to Alec Baldwin got married (again?). Anyway – here is a cursed image, brought to you by Tiffany & Co.
Ohhh….my goodness. Pass.
I’m going to enjoy the cold fall weather this week– expect in next week’s email, a list of sweaters and other fall essentials you should buy, curated by yours truly.
Anyway, I’m not a liar – enjoy this:
xoxo, me
p.s. – do you have any hot tea you want me to spill on this newsletter? need product recommendations – still not sure why you dont have SPF in your life? drop me an email – i’ll reply, and if you send me some of that good shit, you’ll be featured in an upcoming newsletter!